Hi Omega-Killer Sorry for the delay, this is your review for

Ah, it has been a while. I had reviewed chapter I before, so I read through chapter II to get the context for this chapter. The entire Dwarven district was framed for Valliard's murder of Emmarsary Tavion Stanfield, and wiped out by the army and the Royal Offense. Now the spies find themselves set upon by a new enemy, one that doesn't kill but beats the snot out of 'em, much to their chagrin. Hobos? A whole community of hobos is the enemy? Instead of trying to find out why, Madame Cherle sends them forth to eradicate them, which they do, with the intent to frame the King's forces...

I think you've done a good job of showing the protracted period of uncertainty as the spies begin getting beat up. It builds tension, not knowing who could be doing this. Also well portrayed were the scenes of Madame Cherle getting increasingly agitated, and her interactions with Elliam. Then, when Hughes and Gerald's squad discovers who is doing it, retribution strikes quickly like a coiled snake. After half a chapter's worth of frustration, the action against the hobo encampment is cathartic, if bloody. And good job showing that Elliam and Valliard haven't lost all their humanity when they choose not to kill the two kids hiding under the wood pile. Hopefully their charity won't come back to bite them

The major nits are the same as what I said in chapter I, that we need a good once-over with a grammar checker and to stick to past-tense for fiction stories, both of which make it easier for the reader to enjoy your tale. There are some questionable word choices, like in paragraph 16 sentence 2 that starts "When the inn is closed": when Cherle "unleashes her wrathful scowl", I think "scorn" is what she hurls at her subordinates more than a mere frown. In paragraph 64 sentence 4, is "bloodheartiling" supposed to be bloodcurdling? Also, I notice a lot of one-sentence paragraphs where you have some exposition with a dialogue; occasional one-sentence paragraphs with exposition are okay (some will say no, but I'm easy), and of course dialogue by itself can form the majority of one-sentence paragraphs, but you might want to reduce unnecessary exposition tacked onto dialogue quotes in one-sentence paragraphs. Let me know if that needs clarification

As far as the story itself, Madame Cherle slapping Elliam started to feel repetitious. Maybe she's a slap-happy kinda gal but after the first smack, it rapidly loses shock value and becomes just abusive. Also, when Valliard is walking through hobo central hacking folks right and left, it also gets repetitious to just slice folks open to end their lives. A katana is a deadly sharp piece of metal, he could change things up, like decapitate someone, cut off a limb (which will prove fatal in seconds through blood loss), and yes you can run someone through (called Tsuki, you can hit the throat or other vital areas with the point of a katana). It's hard to keep the slaughter of an entire community PG rated, I think it's safe to venture into PG-13 territory and throw up a moderate mature filter. btw a sword sheath is called a scabbard too, but in any case, didn't Valliard wield two katanas at one point? If not, I dunno where I got that idea from, never mind...

Another outstanding chapter of The Two Kings Revolution I noticed that chapter II was from the point of view of the King's forces, the Royal Offense officers Andorran and Katsuga in particular, and this chapter focuses on the Eastern spies like chapter I. I think this is a good way to showcase the differing and opposed points of view. Pacing is good, in that the long period of frustrating inaction had a reason, and once the hobos were found out, things came to a head pretty darn quickly. Now we must wait to see how effective framing the King's forces will be!  Good job, Omega!